Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody. I've been reading old posts on here about adult work and I've found that it's really helped me with my situation.
About 8 weeks ago when I was using my boyfriend's computer I found that adult work was a recently used site, I wasn't snooping it just came up as a suggested site on the web browser. His log in details for the site were already saved so when I found this I decided I had to log in to see what he'd been up to. I found messages and bookings with prostitutes on there, he'd cheated on me on at least 4 occasions that I know of, one of them was a 'gang bang'. He hasn't actually admitted to the gang bang one, he said he never went but all the arrangements were made for him to go so I'm almost certain he would have gone.
The last message about it even said he couldn't wait to get the text with the location and he'd be on his way there! Anyway, it all turned a bit nasty after I found out. That night when I was crying about it he said I needed to grow up and that I was weak! I couldn't quite believe how this man had suddenly changed, it made me so angry and I told him it was over. There was quite a lot of manipulation in the days that followed, he said things like "all the good guys are gone", "you'll never trust anyone as much as you can trust me", "you'll be so lonely in this house on your own".
He had the cheek to say that it was very wrong that I had logged into his account, that I needed to respect his privacy and that I should have boundaries! Also said that I was sly and devious for taking back my own house keys without telling him, it is solely owned by me and he doesn't live here.
I went for an STI test and that was ok thankfully. I asked him to go and get tested so I didn't have to and he refused. We'd been together 2 years and had talked about spending our whole lives together and having children in a year or so. I was happy in the relationship. I'm still in shock about how the nice man I thought I knew could actually be so horrible. It feels like a loss because the future I had imagined has just completely gone now but then on the other hand I know that I should be grateful that it's gone.
