This is the idea from psychology that people are born with a tendency to motivate themselves either positively approaching a goal for its benefits or negatively avoiding the harms associated with failure. Stumbling across this concept made me realise that, although I set myself and sometime achieve ambitious goals, I tend to tackle those goals in an avoidant manner.
In , I cycled around Britain. This was, as you can imagine, a stunning experience; rarely a day goes past without a glorious memory or three dropping in to say hi. However: I cycled the 4, miles in less than two months, at a frankly absurd speed of over 70 miles a day. I took four rest days and resented each one. Because I was terrified, all the way around, that I would fail. Slightly disturbed by this realisation, the following year I cycled around Tunisia , forcing myself to cycle much more slowly and to really relish the adventure.
As a result, I cycled at about half the speed and took a whopping nine days off in the month. Giving myself that time meant that I fell into all sorts of adventures:. By switching off the avoidant voice in my head, I allowed myself the time to have more adventures, which meant I had a lot more FUN too. I was successful on this trip, but a lifelong tendency for avoidant motivation is not so easily overturned! Avoidants, on the other hand are thoughtful, cautious and good-looking.
Although I do a really good job at avoiding girls, blazing rows and sabre-toothed tigers, I will approach that Vienetta with all the recklessness of a Neolithic tiger dentist.
It is possible, as I proved with Tunisia, to reframe your adventures away from a focus on avoidance alone. Yes, it will always be more difficult for us than for people who were born with approach personalities, but that just means that success will be all the more satisfying for us, glorious avoidants!
