Because this sort of perhaps unintentional deception is a particular temptation in a dating context, we need to be deliberate about avoiding it. This is not the only way the early part of a relationship might look. These are simply suggested applications of biblical principles. In the end, there is no formula and no rote substitute for intellectually honest Christians seeking to care well for one another and to faithfully apply Scripture to infinitely varied relational circumstances.
The first thing that should happen if it has not happened during the initiation of the relationship is that intentions should be established. Whatever that conversation looks like, intentions should be clear and it should be the man making them so. Guys, tell her why you have initiated or are initiating with her, tell her that you intend to pursue the relationship to determine if marriage to her is the right choice before God.
The idea is to remove that period of confusion or vulnerability for the woman by being forthright from the beginning about what level of intention or commitment exists a la 1 Thessalonians 4. From there, you obviously need a response from the woman to know whether or not things will go any further.
Ladies, as uncomfortable as this may sound for the guys, you might be in a difficult position here as well, depending on how well you know the man initiating with you. Then β in addition to actually thinking and praying about it β ask one of your pastors or elders whether he knows him and what he thinks.
There are instances in which you can be genuinely unsure about a guy but still move forward this far. Let me say it again: Agreeing to date is not agreeing to marry. There are biblical and unbiblical reasons for a man to initiate with a woman, and there are biblical and unbiblical reasons for turning a man down.
