K athryn Hamm, owner of gayweddings. Their wedding was a way for them to achieve more legal benefits. But, being married to someoneβor committed to someoneβis a lifelong investment of work and love. While their first wedding held more traditional trappings of a wedding, their second was much more relaxed. We would have had one aisle in a garden ceremony but Hurricane Dennis drove us inside.
As favors then, we did offer personalized water bottles for our Bride Ride, a bike ride, and croquet tournament. Basically, we only did what we thought felt right to us as a meaningful ritual for our commitment and celebration. So we avoided most wedding traditions unless we saw a meaning in it or an opportunity for humor.
For their marriage, Kathryn asked a friend of hers from college, who also is a judge for the D. Superior Court, to officiate. For our legal marriage ceremony, there were more wrinkles, more gray hair and more kids! Perhaps most touching is the way Kathryn and Amy incorporated their son, Caleb, 7, into their wedding.
She is a perfect foil for me. And, I think that perhaps my most favorite thing about her of late is watching her parent our son. Instead, by putting the needs of your partner first, you actually bring out the best in yourself.
Even so, the basic advice I offer to anyone, of any age and of any sexual orientation who is getting hitched is to be thoughtful about the kind of ceremony you want to have and then build a ritual that is meaningful to you. The validation of the experience and the power of the moment are both incredibly healing and powerful. She fights for what she believes in, even when she knows that she could be deeply disappointed and hurt.
