I have never been comfortable with leadership. Nonetheless, there I was leading a five-day retreat with twenty-something seasoned leaders, activists, counselors, and other people more qualified than I was to lead it. On day four it cracked. Diverse expressions of a seething dissatisfaction rose to the surface — a cacophony of unmet needs. Many of them seemed contradictory: some wanted more embodiment; others more deep intellectual discussion or more on practical applications.
Some requested more structure and leadership from me; others wanted less from me and more from other people. One person said that she felt to even impose a structure upon a group, and take it upon myself to administer that structure, was an inherently violent expression of patriarchy. Another was in anguish that as we sat in that room, rainforests were being cut down — and what are we doing about it?
The best I can say is that listened to everyone without getting defensive, and tried on each criticism like a piece of clothing. But I had no idea what to say, who was right, or what to do next. Notwithstanding my having no idea what to do, something larger than any of us held us all in its hands. Afterward, the conflicts that had come up before it felt resolved, even though none had been met directly. Significantly, that activity never would have happened at all were it not for a stroke of extraordinary luck, that contributed to my feeling of being held by something larger than our separate selves.
I came here to spend time with Charles and I trust him to offer what is right. This woman had actually walked out, intending to go home, but by chance encountered one of the organizers who at that exact moment was cut off from an urgent phone call and was thus able to encourage her to return and share her opinion. One of these themes is the issue of power and how it is mediated through organizational structures.
Kashtan, who is a prominent figure in the Nonviolent Communication NVC movement founded by Marshall Rosenberg, questions certain values that have had long vogue in the nonviolent world: non-hierarchy, leaderlessness, egalitarianism, and radical inclusivity. The group or movement is very fair, inclusive, and egalitarian, but fails to achieve any concrete external goals.
