Over the months that we have been in Grenoble, we have gotten to know a LOT of people. It seems like every week, we have a few new acquaintances. Some of these people are French, but many are not. So I want to share what we have gleaned as the etiquette for meeting and greeting people in France. We are relying on our own observations and experiences and reports from authentic French friends for this quasi-scientific explanation of la bise.
In what I am sure was a helpful spirit, Steve came up with some witticisms that he thought would be appreciated by some when writing about la bise in France. Now, when we go to our language exchange mornings, the same is expected—greet everyone when you come in and say good-bye when you leave. But there are a few participants that we feel closer to than others. First, who gives whom les bisous? Otherwise, you can stick with a firm handshake. Then, when do you do it?
And you do it to everyone. So, set aside some time for this. It does take some time management. And, how do you do it? Some believe there is no rule, but others are firm on starting with the left cheek. Watch out for what the other person does to avoid any collisions.
There is an art to kissing cheeks. Pout the lips. No slobbering allowed. This is called se faire la bise to kiss. Lastly, how many kisses do you give? As for the number of bises, that depends on where in France you happen to be when all this kissing is going on, not where you come from. Paris is a four-kiss city—two on one cheek, two on the other cheek. Lyon and Grenoble subscribe to two kisses—one on each cheek. There are no hard and fast rules as to what is acceptable. For us, we practice as much as possible to get it right.
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