All products are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission. Like sex itself, sexual fantasies are as old as time. And yet our culture has long been confused about sexual desire.
Men do. Naturally, this was wrong. When they heard the myth that Cleopatra got off with a hollowed-out gourd of buzzing bees, did they really believe that she was thinking of nothing? That she was just staring out at the landscape of Egypt completely thoughtless?
Like we said, the sexual fantasy is as old as time. A sexual fantasy is any mental image, thought, or story that turns you on. You may be dying to act it out or just like to think about it. As long as the fantasy is consensual—freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific—it can be carried out. Your fantasy life is your fantasy life, until and unless you choose to make it into more. It can also make sex last longer!
Having sexual fantasies comes with the territory of being human—but because we live in a culture in which the topic of sex remains taboo, trying to bring them up can not only be intimidating but downright scary. A way to get around this is to create a safe space and get creative. It was really hot. What do you think? We have a whole guide to sex games for couples.
From written erotica and sexy movies to art and stories you find online that could inspire a sexual fantasy conversation, use it all. If you can find a conversation starter in any of these things, jump at the chance. While not everyone has a desire to act out their sexual fantasies—which is also normal! Lehmiller, PhD. This is a nonnegotiable.
