In , the Korean War broke out in a pre-industrial nation that was still reeling from the devastation of WWII and 35 years of Japanese occupancy and iron-fisted rule. My grandfather, like most South Korean men of fighting age, was conscripted to serve in the war, in his case serving as a sergeant in the air force. My grandmother, who was 25 at the time, fled with their four childrenβages one, three, four, and six.
Along with thousands of other refugees, my grandmother went south to escape the bombs and encroaching North Korean military who attacked and slaughtered civilians indiscriminately. Almost entirely on foot, my grandmother walked hundreds of miles, with four young children in tow and no final destination in sight.
In , as the exhausted parent of two small children who I can barely wrangle for dinner, I literally cannot fathom how my grandmother did what she did. At one point, my grandmother became separated from her six-year-old daughter my eldest aunt , and had no choice but to continue on without her. Through a small miracle, as my dad tells the story, my aunt just appeared one day, and the family was reunited. This unimaginable trek continued for months. My grandmother and her kids were eventually evacuated by the US military to Jeju Island , where they spent the remaining years of the war.
Both my parents grew up in the aftermath of this carnage. It was a time when a single woman with a baby had no options, so my grandmother abandoned my mom in order to start a new life with a new husband, pretending that she was single and childless, not a recent widow.
It was the only way. Through an international aid program, my dad was able to reenroll in and finish high school, and then eventually go college. His benefactor, as he learned, was an elementary school teacher in the Midwest. Similarly, my mom was able to attend high school and then nursing school because of the generosity of an elderly woman in New York City who happened to meet a distant uncle of mine who was, of all things, a news broadcaster for a Korean-language radio station in Manhattan.
