Hi all, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now, and we are transitioning into our freshman year of college. We will be going to separate colleges, but want to stay together for a long-distance relationship. We love each other very deeply, and we both share an interest in sharing a life together. However, he is nervous he will be missing out on potential college experiences.
Could I have some advice on how to deal with this? This is such a painful situation and one that many go through, as you know. All I can say is that I know many couples who separated for a period of time, dated others, and when they came back together were stronger for it. But coming back together was not planned, it happened naturally.
I am hoping you two can continue your relationship during this time of transition. Most of all I think that amidst COVID and going to college and leaving home, that maybe you should put this issue aside temporarily and talk about it when you are both settled in and comfortable in your new situations. I know many young people going through the same struggles as you OP, including my daughter. One of my closest friends married her first boyfriend and they are one of the happiest families I know but they never had to live far apart.
You are both about to embark on a period of great personal growth. It will be hard, and you and your boyfriend will be growing while apart from each other. You will both change. Your relationship will change. Try not to define this change because you will inevitably become disappointed. I feel for you. Just like compmom said, this situation is so hard. And I also know of couples who came back together after being apart - but it happened organically, not as part of a rumspringa type thing.
If you decide to stay together, I hope you give each other the space to develop friends and a life in your separate colleges. And if you decide to break up, be grateful for a wonderful first relationship and who knows what the future will bring. Jealousy, suspicion, mistrust - all feel lousy. Good advice from packacards. The effort to plan and control what happens is natural when you are trying to hold on to something so valuable. But life teaches us to let go.
