He has one daughter. He and her mother divorced when she was eight and it was rancorous. Sadly, her mother died suddenly when she was 19, just before my husband and I started dating. I was completely ghosted apart from her cruel jibes such as posting on social media pictures of her past family to mark our first anniversary.
When she was married, I attended but was treated as a pariah. No amount of trying to talk about it got through to her. I decided it was best for me to stop trying to connect with her. A few years go by, and she and her husband are having a baby. She suddenly appears for a visit and acts as if none of her ugly behavior had ever happened.
I chose to embrace her and really put my all into it, but it has been a struggle. Her father was recently very sick, and I spent months nursing him to health. I feel liberated from this effort, but also guilty. Any advice? None of those seem to be aligning. But she and you have to be open to the vulnerability and the rebuilding that is required. You can remain open to the possibility of more but remember that more requires effort on both sides.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric askingeric.
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