In a marriage or relationship, the amount of times you make love can vary from one week to the next. All of which are normal! Then as time continues, maybe a new job for one of you changes your previous spontaneity and flexibility due to change in shifts such as one of you is working days while the other is working nights. Then maybe you get married and one of you loses your job unexpectedly. With added stress, maybe your frequency slows down even more to maybe 1x a week and sometimes 1x every other week.
Completely understandable and normal due to unprecedented stressors and circumstances. The important thing here is to continue to communicate to each other about feelings towards your intimacy and everything else.
So now, maybe one of you gets a big raise and now you are feeling great about things, so your intimacy heats back up and you begin adding in more sexual encounters to a few times a week again. Then another kid, and it decreases even more. How do you handle the ups and downs of your intimacy all while handling the ebbs and flows of life? There is no perfect answer, having been married 9 years myself with 3 children and a dog, it can be hectic and hard to keep intimacy a priority.
However, it is important. I mean even saying the word SEX seems taboo for so many. And depending on your situation, upbringing, fantasies, etc. But it is important to keep the dialogue open between you and your partner around sex.
Besides, sex not only keeps you close as a couple, it gives you something to look forward to together, it keeps stress levels down, can boost your immune system and can even make people feel better physically. On the reverse, having no intimacy can affect parts of your relationship from communication, affection, happiness and even overall trust.
