One of the topics that frequently comes up with my gay private practice clients is the issue of using Grindr to meet other gay men. Some of my clients have occasional fun using this app, while others get hooked on constantly being online and cruising for other men- often leading to lots of frustration and despair. It has become a worldwide phenomenon with more than 2. Grindr has also been the centre of controversy recently after a married Puerto Rican senator with an anti-gay voting record was forced to resign for using Grindr to send naked pictures of himself- not disimilar from the Anthony Weiner affair.
While this kind of mobile cruising is very convenient, it also brings with it a raft of problems. The general consensus of my clients is that Grindr is for one thing-sex. Whether the relationships are long-term or not is debatable.
What happens for many of those that are looking for a relationship is they experience constant rejections and unsuccessful meetings leading to feelings of hopelessness, apathy and despair.
Many men on Grindr find that over time they develop a compulsion to constantly check and register their location to see who may be nearby. I see a lot of this compulsion is about avoidance of feelings- avoiding loneliness, boredom, sadness or depression.
This in turn encourages the user to keep logging in and looking for new men, which can become a vicious cycle. See if you can stay a little longer with your experience before you move away from it. A sign of health is the ability to tolerate your own feelings and experiences, without needing them to be other than they are. Mindfulness training is about learning this very skill. The use of Grindr can be about wanting to avoid issues that are currently going on in your relationship.
